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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Continued Absence

Hi everyone,

It is with sadness that I write this entry.  As everyone that has visited within the last couple of months knows, my mother has been very ill.

I had been flying and spending approximately two weeks monthly with her for quite some time and spending the remainder of the time here at home with my family.  My mother continues to have health problems, but is one strong lady.  Against the odds, she continues to kick here on earth.  For that I am very grateful.

However, on Wednesday, June 19th following watching one of my grandsons, Tristan's baseball games ... I experienced double vision and my husband, John took me to ER.  In the CT of the Brain, it was discovered I had a blood clot on the left side of my brain stem.  TPA treatment was done because I came in within that three hour window.  For those that might not be familiar with this, it is a clot busting treatment.  I have been very lucky.  I have mild weakness on my right side involving both my arm and leg.  Luckily I am able to walk, I just have to concentrate more.

I WANT TO INCLUDE SOME PHOTOS OF MY FLOWERS AND CARDS.  This is the first time in my life I have ever gotten flowers from my son, Drue.  The cards were made by two of his sons, Tristan and Elijah.  Tristan is four years old and Elijah is two years old.  Yesterday, Tristan asked me ... "why are you in the hospital?".  And, I said the doctor had to fix my head.  And, he said ... "but, Nana you don't have a booboo for me to kiss!!!""











I came home last night and I can't tell you how good it feels to be in the security and warmth of my own surroundings.  The major difficulty I am experiencing at this time, is with my thought process.  It takes me time to express myself and at times I feel very muffled and frustrated.  I find that I seem to be having trouble spelling (which is obvious here) or not getting my words right because I have to keep going back and having to correct.  Outside stimuli is really hard on me, too.  I am not able to drown out all the different sounds and noises around me ... so for now, quietness is wonderful.

There is no way for me to do my creating now of wordart.  But, if it's alright I would like to write my thoughts down.  It is a way for me to work on strengthening my thought process and hopefully very
soon feel normal again.  I need this to be a place I can just talk.  My husband is worried enough about me and I don't want to burden him.

As I said earlier, I am so grateful that I did not have a major stroke.  Yet, I feel very overwhelmed still.  So much has happened these past few months.  I will dwell on the positives.  I am still here to be with my husband and my children.  They are the only people I really want around me.  My need for them is so great!!!  My grandchildren are important too, but right now ... their noise just bothers me, yet I miss not being with them.  So many emotions, I feel like I am on a roller-coaster.  So, this is where I have turned.

Thank you for listening.

Hugs, Sue  (and now you know ... my real name is Ursula  (Ur - Sue - La)

14 comments:

Chrissys4Cards said...

Thinking of you Sue and wishes for you to get well soon.

Av said...

So sorry to learn your news but glad you have such a positive outlook on things.
I went through a life-threatening, massive clot related emergency 7 months ago though not a stroke. I, too, find the need for peace & quiet & lack any energy I once had. However, knowing what might have been, I see each day as a bonus.
I wish you well. Healing blessings xox

beulahmom said...

I hope you continue to improve and wish only the best for you.

Trine Secher said...

Oh, my dear friend...
I'm so sorry to read your story, but glad that it was caught soon enough for you to get back to normal at some point. In a small way, I know how you are feeling right now, and let me tell you: For the next weeks, months, or however long it takes, you must focus on YOU! Don't feel like a burden, don't be too considerate to others - it's all about you getting better. And then, when you are yourself again you can show your gratitudes towards all of those you "bothered". I wish all the best for you and your mother and forget about the creative part - we will still be here, when you get back :0))))
Hugs & Kisses
Trine

Lisa Lynn said...

Sue, you have been through A LOT. You are in my prayers and I'm sending you my best wishes. Hope you don't have too many bruises from the TPA. Take care!

Debbie said...

Prayers for you and your mom. I also experienced a mild stroke about 8 yrs ago and the forgetfulness and searching for the right words to say still linger. I guess you learn to cope with it. I wish you a full recovery!

marlah24 said...

With all you have going on in your life you always remember and think of us. What a special person you are. Sending you lots of good wishes for a speedy recovery.

Toni McConnell said...

Sending love and healing thoughts to you. Please use us as a sounding board....it would be my honor to listen/read.

Toni McConnell said...

sending loving healing thoughts to you...and it would be my honor to be a listener/reader as you work through this time

Pat said...

I am sure I am not the only one that has checked in every week waiting for your return thank you for sharing your thoughts I know how it feels not to want to worry your family when you are down so knowing you have a safe place to just let go is what we are all here for You and your family are in my prayers rest trust in God to see you thru

Lawren said...

Praying for you Sue. May you feel better soon.

chick1852 said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers your way.
linda

Janytime said...

Sending prayers for an eventual complete recovery for you, and hoping that you have lots more time with your mom. Take things slow and easy for now and treat yourself and your health as your #1 priority. Just wanted you to know that there are lots of us out here for you to chat with when you feel the need. We will all be here later too when you feel like creating again. Meantime, keep us posted on your life. Writing will be good brain function exercise, so chat on when you can. Lots of Hugs!!