Continued Absence

Hi everyone,

It is with sadness that I write this entry.  As everyone that has visited within the last couple of months knows, my mother has been very ill.

I had been flying and spending approximately two weeks monthly with her for quite some time and spending the remainder of the time here at home with my family.  My mother continues to have health problems, but is one strong lady.  Against the odds, she continues to kick here on earth.  For that I am very grateful.

However, on Wednesday, June 19th following watching one of my grandsons, Tristan's baseball games ... I experienced double vision and my husband, John took me to ER.  In the CT of the Brain, it was discovered I had a blood clot on the left side of my brain stem.  TPA treatment was done because I came in within that three hour window.  For those that might not be familiar with this, it is a clot busting treatment.  I have been very lucky.  I have mild weakness on my right side involving both my arm and leg.  Luckily I am able to walk, I just have to concentrate more.

I WANT TO INCLUDE SOME PHOTOS OF MY FLOWERS AND CARDS.  This is the first time in my life I have ever gotten flowers from my son, Drue.  The cards were made by two of his sons, Tristan and Elijah.  Tristan is four years old and Elijah is two years old.  Yesterday, Tristan asked me ... "why are you in the hospital?".  And, I said the doctor had to fix my head.  And, he said ... "but, Nana you don't have a booboo for me to kiss!!!""

I came home last night and I can't tell you how good it feels to be in the security and warmth of my own surroundings.  The major difficulty I am experiencing at this time, is with my thought process.  It takes me time to express myself and at times I feel very muffled and frustrated.  I find that I seem to be having trouble spelling (which is obvious here) or not getting my words right because I have to keep going back and having to correct.  Outside stimuli is really hard on me, too.  I am not able to drown out all the different sounds and noises around me ... so for now, quietness is wonderful.

There is no way for me to do my creating now of wordart.  But, if it's alright I would like to write my thoughts down.  It is a way for me to work on strengthening my thought process and hopefully very
soon feel normal again.  I need this to be a place I can just talk.  My husband is worried enough about me and I don't want to burden him.

As I said earlier, I am so grateful that I did not have a major stroke.  Yet, I feel very overwhelmed still.  So much has happened these past few months.  I will dwell on the positives.  I am still here to be with my husband and my children.  They are the only people I really want around me.  My need for them is so great!!!  My grandchildren are important too, but right now ... their noise just bothers me, yet I miss not being with them.  So many emotions, I feel like I am on a roller-coaster.  So, this is where I have turned.

Thank you for listening.

Hugs, Sue  (and now you know ... my real name is Ursula  (Ur - Sue - La)